Meet Billy Bob: From beanbag to breakthrough

Everyone is asking who this Billy Bob guy is. Well I'll tell you, but before I tell you who he is, I first have to tell you who he was... 

Billy Bob was a 35-year-old unemployed, overweight, odd looking slob who plays video games all day lives in his mom's basement. He has never had a girlfriend and has barely ever went outside and the only source of light that's in his basement is from the TV. He doesn't work out, eats nothing but junk food and sleeps most of the day on a bean bag chair in that stinky and cluttered basement. His mom has been sick of him mooching off of her and wants him to finally get a job and get out of the house. 

One day, Billy Bob rolled off his bean bag chair on a Tuesday around 1:00 in the afternoon as usual after stretching and letting out a giant fart, he waddled over to the pantry to grab snacks, UH OH, turns out he was all out of snacks, there were nothing but crumbs and empty candy wrappers on the shelves. So he threw on a black beanie, a dirty black hoodie and a pair of cheese doodles stained pants that were on the floor next to his pile of stinky laundry and went upstairs Read his mom's pantry but to a surprise there was a padlock on the pantry door!

Billy, Bob was annoyed and upset so he stormed into his mom's bedroom where she was laying on her bed watching TV. He very rudely asked her about the padlock on the pantry. His mom told him that she has had enough of his mooching and laziness and how she was sick of him reading her pantry and never refilling it. And that he needs to clean up his act and get a job. Billy, Bob wasn't shock, his mom was usually a push. Always enabling him to be the lazy slob he's become, but this time he can see it in her eyes that she was dead serious. Billy Bob had sunken far into degeneracy. She reached into her purse and pulled out a $20 bill and gave it to him and said that was the last money she was ever going to give him and to use it wisely. Billy, Bob took the $20 and walked angrily out of the house toward the 7-11 around the block. Pursed her name under his breath as he walked. But the more he thought about it he realized she was right. He did need to step out of his game. After all, Billy Bob knows that most of his people have their own houses, cars and some even are married with kids. It was time for him to start being more responsible as much as he hated the idea. 

Has Billy Bob reached the 7-11 door? He noticed a help wanted sign in the front window. He walked in and went straight to the snacks. After he grabbed a pack of Doritos he went to get a slurpee, there was a girl filling up her slurpee in front of him, she turned around too quickly not realizing Billy Bob was directly behind her. She accidentally knocked into him and spilled a little bit of a drink on his shoulder. She apologized and grabbed some napkins and started wiping the slurpee off Billy Bob's arm. He didn't realize it at first but it was Susie, his crush from high school. She noticed too and asked " Billy Bob, is that you?" He nervously said " yeah, um hi Susie" she smiled her beautiful smile that he instantly remembered from high school. She then said " Oh my God!, I haven't seen you in like 20 years. What have you been up to?" Billy Bob just stared blankly for a few seconds then replied " nothing much, just hanging around, you look great haven't changed a bit since high school." She looked him up and down and giggled a little and said " thanks Billy Bob...um... You too." He could tell she was just being kind, they both awkwardly stood there for a few seconds then she said " well okay, good seeing you. Sorry again about the spill." Giggling as she walked away. Billy Bob very nervously said in a shakey voice " yeah uh, no problem...uh... Good to see you too!"

It had been so long since he saw Susie and all his feelings for her came rushing back. He was crushing on her really bad in high school. Realizing that she was obviously kind of disgusted with his slobby look. He thought real hard for a few minutes outside the 7-11 while drinking his slurpee. Then he glanced back up at the help-wanted sign. Billy Bob took a deep breath, threw out his slurpee and walked back into the store and asked the man at the counter for a job application. 

( IT WAS TIME FOR A CHANGE! )